Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Stuck?

First of all.. stuck is a very strange word if you look at it for a minute or two.

Second, I apologize for going almost a month without updating. I've occasionally thought of a topic to write about, but I haven't had a conclusion. I suppose I'm too stuck in the American narrative in which everything comes with a happy ending (.. wait does that still exist?) In any case, I've been nothing short of confused throughout all of October. I posted awhile ago about sticking to values.. that people won't be happy if they're living below the standards they have.
Well, as it turns out, just abiding by standards isn't enough either. This is an incredibly daunting message, and I'll explain why. When we finally come to turns with the idea that choosing the "right" (whatever we may deem it to be) brings us happiness, and we learn to live accordingly, we have just raised the bar for ourselves. If you're determined in life to be an underachiever you may excuse yourself at this time.
I like to think, though, that this isn't the case for many people. That when we truly think about ourselves and where we envision our future to be, it isn't in the same place as we currently are (or worse, a few steps backwards), but instead its somewhere better. No, we may not like the work thats necessary in progressing (ESPECIALLY when it feels like no one cares about our progress or attempts at improving ourselves)... but I have faith that we'll like the reward.
I've been trying my best to do it all. I've prayed, I've read the scriptures, I've gone to church, I fulfilled my responsibilities as a member of the church, I've gone to the temple... these are things I've heard my entire life. MY ENTIRE LIFE. Soo.. somehow I was expecting a round of applause and a break from hard days. ha. ha. ha.
On the contrary, I realized that I was still missing something very important. Unfortunately, it wasn't until about a week ago that I understood which gospel principle it was: service... Also something I've heard my whole life, but perhaps thats what has made is seem unimportant.
Thankfully, going into my church's General Conference with an inquisitive mind and open heart I was able to feel the weight of this counsel.

This quote is a bit long, but read it anyways!

Many of us are dutiful in attending our Church meetings. We work hard in our callings and especially on Sundays. That is surely to be commended. But are our minds and our hearts just as anxiously engaged in good things during the rest of the week? Do we just go through the motions, or are we truly converted to the gospel of Jesus Christ? How do we take the seed of faith that has been nurtured in our minds and plant it deep in the fertile soil of our souls? How do we make the mighty change of heart that Alma says is essential for our eternal happiness and peace?
Only when our testimony transcends what is in our mind and burrows deep into our heart will our motivation to love and to serve become like unto the Savior’s. It is then, and only then, that we become deeply converted disciples of Christ empowered by the Spirit to reach the hearts of our fellowmen.
-Elder M. Russel Ballard

so there ya have it. Well.. I could quote a lot of other parts of conference that hit me with this same idea. I will share one other quote that was weighing on my mind before the conference. 

"Unless we lose ourselves in service to others, there is little purpose to our own lives."
-Pres. Thomas S. Monson

well there ya have it. Service my friends. That it. That is what has gotten me out of the rut I've been in. Other counsel regarding this (that I don't feel like finding the exact quote of) urges us to pray every morning for opportunities to serve. I've been really trying to do this. I can feel that this is what I'm supposed to be working on. Take it or leave it.. thats where my happiness will come from.

I could take this message so much further.. In fact I could spend a year telling you all about this one thing. I will let you know how its going, and maybe share an experience or two. If I don't though, its mostly because these kinds of experiences are usually very special to me, and somehow sharing them feels like bragging about how wonderful I am and how much I help others. Just knowing that some may view it that way makes me cautious to share too much, but I'll share what I feel like I need to for your benefit! 

Sorry again for the delay, it won't happen again :] (uh.. hopefully.) 

No comments:

Post a Comment