at·ti·tude
noun
- 1.a settled way of thinking or feeling about someone or something, typically one that is reflected in a person's behavior.
Let me start by saying that for me, and many others, there will most likely never be a real "after depression" part of my life. I will probably be handling it my whole life.
That being said, either before medication or with it, I have always HATED it when people tell me that happiness is a choice.
Maybe its because for so long it hasn't been a choice for me. Depression doesn't leave much room for choosing emotion, and the people with the happy-go-lucky-attitudes just didn't get that.
But even with my depression mostly under control, I was surprised to find that I'm still extremely agitated at the "happiness is a choice" mentality. It might just be that years of knowing that it wasn't like that for me conditioned me to dismiss it altogether, but no matter the reason, I've come face to face with a simple (annoying) truth: I have to change my attitude. I settled into the comfortable fact that I was a "slave" to the chemical imbalance I faced everyday, but now that I've been taking medicine to counteract that, happiness might really be a daily choice for me.
WEIRD. I have no idea how to handle it or where to start. Its daunting to think about all the behaviors I have to change now. Even if it was depression that kept me "lazy" in bed most afternoons, annoyed at small things, or struggling with self confidence, they were still behaviors I got used to. Still a lifestyle I got used to. Now the so-called cloud has lifted and I still want to go to bed after work and feel bad about myself.
Let me rephrase that, I don't want to be lazy or have low self-esteem or any of that, but I still find myself slipping into that role because I got so used to it! I'm exhausted thinking about all I need to change now that I can.
I had a good conversation at lunch the other day about getting things done. I think people are inclined to get overwhelmed easily by big tasks. At the beginning of the semester, students have a freak-out day looking at all the assignments they have to do before finals, as if all of it needs to get done asap. Sure, by the end of that big project at work you will have finished multiple drafts, rewrites, edits, and worksheets. Do you need to do it all at once though? Of course not! But we still look at it all and have a melt down because how on earth will we get it all done!?
Well, how do you eat an elephant?
(You don't I hope..)
One bite at a time. One step at a time. One day at a time.
I need a real attitude change so that every day and situation I face is met with positivity. That's a lot of situations and a lot of days. I've got a mile long list of things I could do better, but number one on my list is changing my attitude about change. Its a slow process if its going to last, which I hate, and it needs to be revisited and checked for progress often.
So without further ado, I've come to the point: I am restarting my happiness project! This time it will be with daily checklists and weekly "progress reports." I don't have it all set up yet but I have a whole day to get organized :)
Its happening!
If you want to do a happiness project of your own (based on Gretchen Rubin's book "The Happiness Project"), let me know and I can outline how it works and how to keep up with it and what not!
Let me rephrase that, I don't want to be lazy or have low self-esteem or any of that, but I still find myself slipping into that role because I got so used to it! I'm exhausted thinking about all I need to change now that I can.
I had a good conversation at lunch the other day about getting things done. I think people are inclined to get overwhelmed easily by big tasks. At the beginning of the semester, students have a freak-out day looking at all the assignments they have to do before finals, as if all of it needs to get done asap. Sure, by the end of that big project at work you will have finished multiple drafts, rewrites, edits, and worksheets. Do you need to do it all at once though? Of course not! But we still look at it all and have a melt down because how on earth will we get it all done!?
Well, how do you eat an elephant?
(You don't I hope..)
One bite at a time. One step at a time. One day at a time.
I need a real attitude change so that every day and situation I face is met with positivity. That's a lot of situations and a lot of days. I've got a mile long list of things I could do better, but number one on my list is changing my attitude about change. Its a slow process if its going to last, which I hate, and it needs to be revisited and checked for progress often.
So without further ado, I've come to the point: I am restarting my happiness project! This time it will be with daily checklists and weekly "progress reports." I don't have it all set up yet but I have a whole day to get organized :)
Its happening!
If you want to do a happiness project of your own (based on Gretchen Rubin's book "The Happiness Project"), let me know and I can outline how it works and how to keep up with it and what not!
Live better and smile!
Mads
Hey. I would like to know more about that. Sounds like something I need!
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