Happiness after Depression

at·ti·tude

noun

1. 1.

   a settled way of thinking or feeling about someone or something, typically one that is reflected in a person's behavior.

Let me start by saying that for me, and many others, there will most likely never be a real "after depression" part of my life. I will probably be handling it my whole life. 

That being said, either before medication or with it, I have always HATED it when people tell me that happiness is a choice. 

Maybe its because for so long it hasn't been a choice for me. Depression doesn't leave much room for choosing emotion, and the people with the happy-go-lucky-attitudes just didn't get that. 

But even with my depression mostly under control, I was surprised to find that I'm still extremely agitated at the "happiness is a choice" mentality. It might just be that years of knowing that it wasn't like that for me conditioned me to dismiss it altogether, but no matter the reason, I've come face to face with a simple (annoying) truth: I have to change my attitude. I settled into the comfortable fact that I was a "slave" to the chemical imbalance I faced everyday, but now that I've been taking medicine to counteract that, happiness might really be a daily choice for me. 

WEIRD. I have no idea how to handle it or where to start. Its daunting to think about all the behaviors I have to change now. Even if it was depression that kept me "lazy" in bed most afternoons, annoyed at small things, or struggling with self confidence, they were still behaviors I got used to. Still a lifestyle I got used to. Now the so-called cloud has lifted and I still want to go to bed after work and feel bad about myself.

Let me rephrase that, I don't want to be lazy or have low self-esteem or any of that, but I still find myself slipping into that role because I got so used to it! I'm exhausted thinking about all I need to change now that I can.

I had a good conversation at lunch the other day about getting things done. I think people are inclined to get overwhelmed easily by big tasks. At the beginning of the semester, students have a freak-out day looking at all the assignments they have to do before finals, as if all of it needs to get done asap. Sure, by the end of that big project at work you will have finished multiple drafts, rewrites, edits, and worksheets. Do you need to do it all at once though? Of course not! But we still look at it all and have a melt down because how on earth will we get it all done!?
Well, how do you eat an elephant?
(You don't I hope..)
One bite at a time. One step at a time. One day at a time.

I need a real attitude change so that every day and situation I face is met with positivity. That's a lot of situations and a lot of days. I've got a mile long list of things I could do better, but number one on my list is changing my attitude about change. Its a slow process if its going to last, which I hate, and it needs to be revisited and checked for progress often.

So without further ado, I've come to the point: I am restarting my happiness project! This time it will be with daily checklists and weekly "progress reports." I don't have it all set up yet but I have a whole day to get organized :)
Its happening!

If you want to do a happiness project of your own (based on Gretchen Rubin's book "The Happiness Project"), let me know and I can outline how it works and how to keep up with it and what not! 

Live better and smile!

Mads

Be better: A call for a failing society to live above comparisons

Live above comparisons.

What does that even mean? Well, saying "live above the influence/norm/standard" all would have been along the same line, but I say live above the comparisons because everyone's standards or norms are different. People need to start learning to expect more of themselves.

How many times have you thought, or even said, "Right, I might be doing this thing below my potential, but compared to so-and-so its 10 times better." Or "Well... at least I did better than them."

Give yourself a pat on the back, you've surpassed someone who is deciding to work/live below their potential too!

I feel a lot of pressure to be perfect, but I have a real expectation for myself that I cannot be perfect. Unfortunately, sometimes that bleeds into the thought "Is it unrealistic to expect me to do ALL of that! Look at so-and-so, they don't do any of it! At least I'm doing better than that."
That is called complacency, excuses, and a lack of determination to be better.

Our society, this generation, is failing the world. These days, it is so normal to hear about tragedy, shootings, hatred, selfishness, scandals, and corruption. Take the notorious revenge porn site operator, the Arizona stockbroker who killed his wife with a golf club, Beiber getting arrested with a DUI, the teacher who plead guilty for sex abuse, or the man who shot his father-in-law in church. These were all the first new stories that came up just for today. Do ANY of them shock me? No.
Do they shock you?

I'm really not saying everyone is bad and the world is bad and we're all terrible.
What I think is important is that people start to SEE what's going on, and take personal action. The world's only going to get worse. I certainly don't want to raise any children in a world like this one, let alone whatever it will be like 10 years down the road when I'm sending them to school and hoping they'll be able to live above the influences around them.

We read about, hear about, and see awful things happen every single day. The consistency alone makes these things feel normal. With the first school shootings last year, the entire country tuned into the national news broadcasts to follow the story. Now look at us, not even a year later. Since the beginning of this year alone there has been an average of a school shooting every. other. day.  I hadn't heard about a single one of them until I searched for it. We are conditioned to accept things as the "way they are", and we adjust our lifestyles and expectations for ourselves and others accordingly.

Well what if we adjusted them the other way? Every time we hear about something bad happening, we take a moment to feel the weight and sadness of that event happening in the world we live in, and then we ACT in a different way. I do not believe that we are wired to want to live below our potential, to do the least amount of work to get by. But I do believe society's taught us that it is acceptable and even encouraged to do so.

Be better. Be better than you were yesterday, better than the norm we live under, better than what everyone says is acceptable.

You're right Mr. 24/7-Porn-addict, pornography is extremely common! You're also right Miss. I-drink-to-forget-the-reality-of-my-life, using alcohol to escape is legal and therefore acceptable! You're right on the money Mr. I-have-control-in-my-home-so-I'll-treat-my-wife-and-kids-however-I-want, male dominance has been common for decades so you're upbringing may very well have conditioned you to think abuse is normal. (shall I go on?) Well, even though you're all "right", did  you know that these things also kill people, families, marriages, happiness, love, hope, etc...

Be BETTER. I truly believe our souls want light and real joy. The destructive habits of society are literally all masterfully designed to condition us to become accustomed to violence, hatred, and selfishness. I also believe that if we consciously change what is considered normal for us, we can make a difference in the world. We can change the stories that come on the news everyday.

"I think some people are too scared, or something. I guess it's hard for people who are so used to things the way they are - even if they're bad - to change. 'Cause they kind of give up. And when they do, everybody kind of loses. " [Pay It Forward: Trevor McKenney.]

Take it from Trevor, we're all losing when we're too scared to change the way things are. Create a better world to live in, create a better place for your children.

Society's drawn the line.
Live better.

My very first DIY tutorial: Easy, adorable pallet coasters

Behold, my first DIY tutorial! Ideally I will have a new blog coming soon for these projects, but for now this space I have will have to do. I figured out I'm pretty good at recreating things I see, so I'm going to start dabbling in the DIY.

I know everyone is secretly dying to know how to make coasters that look like miniature pallets, so I made them and took pictures along the way. :)

Supplies:
A bag of popsicle/craft sticks
hot glue or wood glue (I used wood glue because Walmart was sold out of hot glue guns)
wood stain, a rag, and disposable gloves
scissors

Instructions

1. Cut the ends off of the sticks. I actually did this at the end because I was afraid to cut them at first, but do it first so the stain gets all over it. A good pair of scissors should be able to cut them without any real splintering problems.
2. Put those gloves on and stain the sticks! As much as I didn't want to do it, I ended up staining them one at a time. I dipped the rag in stain and then ran it along the popsicle stick. This let me do both sides at once, even if it meant having to do them one by one.
   
   You should end up with a nice pile of beautiful stained sticks :)
   
3. Once they are dry place 2 sticks parallel to each other a stick's width apart.
   
4. Put glue on each stick at about the same distance from one of the edges.
   
   Again, I had to use wood glue, but you'll see in the final image that its actually visible when it dries. I would rather have used hot glue.
    
5. Find 3 sticks that are the same width (or height since they will be standing on their side.) These will be the "cross beams" of your pallet.
   Place one across the 2 sticks laying down on the glue.
   
   
    You may need to hold it for a second so the glue can hold it up.
   
   
   Repeat with the next 2 sticks, one halfway and one at the bottom.
   
   
6. Once those 3 are pretty set, grab 2 more sticks to be glued on top, right above the original 2 sticks laying down.
   Glue them on by adding the glue to the top of each of the 3 standing up sticks where the 2 new ones will lay.
   
   
7. Take 6 more sticks and arrange them across the top. Do not glue yet.
   
   
8. Once you're happy with the spacing, start gluing one stick down by putting the glue across the 3 sticks standing up. Continue this for all 6 sticks until they are glued in placed.
   
   
9. Once all of the top sticks are set in place and dried, turn the pallet coaster over to add a few sticks to the back for an authentic pallet look. Repeat the same process that was done on the top. I added only 4 sticks to the bottom to save on sticks and because most pallets do have slats missing.
   
   
10. Once those have dried, flip it back over and you're done!
    

I LOVE miniature versions of things, so I'm obsessed with how cute they are. I made these for my parent's house, but I'm thinking I'll need to make some to go with my pallet table.

Have fun!